its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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