would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
