my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
