we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
