She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
