so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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