"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
