All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
