turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
