I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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