dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
