there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
