I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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