this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
i out mim tonsoeep
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
