She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
