Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
