So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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