I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
