just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
