Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
My vagina is very pro this idea
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
