I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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