I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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