I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Enjoy the penises
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
