You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
