Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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