If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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