i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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