But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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