I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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