Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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