Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
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