Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
