My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Randomize
