She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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