Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
