hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You may now shotgun with the bride
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
