Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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