This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
