Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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