I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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