k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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