So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
