Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
