I could have mohawked her pubes.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
