look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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