he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
