I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
