So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
