i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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