Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Randomize
