moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
